Tribal Skull Neoprene Face Mask

No honey, I’m not mad that you got caught wearing this Tribal Skull Neoprene Face Mask at school. I want to be mad, but I just can’t be. That would be hypocritical. You see, when I was just a little brat like you, I also wore a Tribal Skull Neoprene Face Mask at school. A lot of times. Usually right before I had to go home.

They just made me feel so alive. It was like, when I was wearing the Tribal Skull Neoprene Face Mask, everything I touched was the REALEST THING I’D EVER FELT! When I got home, my bed would be glowing, and when I laid down on it to sleep, I’d dream I was soaring through space with a Pop Tart for a body, leaving a blazing rainbow trail in my wake. It was like if someone grew catnip on the moon, that’s how potent that Tribal Skull Neoprene Face Mask was.

So I know why you’re drawn to that neoprene face mask, sweety. But trust me, it’s not all rainbows and stars. After a while, they start to affect your perception of reality. When I’d wake up and take the Tribal Skull Neoprene Face Mask off, everything would seem grey. The very things I used to love – shoe laces, plastic bags, those little things that keep the caps on milk jugs – none of them held any appeal anymore. I didn’t feel like I could be myself unless I hid from the world in Tribal Skull Neoprene Face Mask.

Wait, what? You weren’t wearing a Tribal Skull Neoprene Face Mask? Just a regular Black Neoprene Face Mask? Oh… Well then, forget I said all of this. Mommy was just joking. She’d never do crazy stuff like that…