DOT ¾ Shell RK4 Winebury Motorcycle Helmet with removable visor

When it comes to buying Motorcycle Helmets, some people swear by modern technology. Some rely on the age-old art of no helmet at all. And others use the Novelty Motorcycle Helmet method. Which is right for you?

In these modern days of technology or whatever, we run the risk of losing some of the ancient wisdom that guided our species through the dark ages to the present day. Looking around us, maybe that’s a good thing. But still, we can’t help but wonder if those crazy old morons were really morons like a fox. Here’s how this 3/4 Motorcycle Helmet with flip shield stacks up to two of its forebears.

No Motorcycle Helmet:
Back in the days before iPods and breast implants, when it was OK to name a little boy “Sue” and make him wear a dress, no motorcycle ride was complete until you took off your motorcycle helmet the moment you passed into a no-helmet law state and felt the wind through your hear.
Practiced by: people who died a long time ago. Doesn’t seem to have helped them much, does it?
Pro: a good excuse to buy life insurance.
Con: Death.

Novelty Motorcycle Helmets:
This Saskatchewanarian folk science involves the removal of padding and the placing on of a fake DOT sticker.
Practiced by: farmers in Western Canada, particularly those of Ukrainian and Polish descent. Less popular with their lawyers.
Pro: Controls the biker population.
Con: a slow painful death.

RK4 3/4 Shell Motorcycle Helmet:
While less picturesque than the other two, this 3/4 Wine Motorcycle Helmet has the enormous advantage of being based on something other than 98th-generation technology dreamed up by some halfwit peasant who had too much fungus in his potato liquor. This ¾ Shell motorcycle helmet is constructed of durable fiberglass and has excellent inside padding and chin strap. This motorcycle helmets visor has three standard positions and is removable all together.
Practiced by: anyone with half a brain.
Pro: makes it a lot easier to make it home alive on a motorcycle.
Con: cost $65, but cheaper than a funeral