Claw Balaclava

Hello Mother, Hello Father (A Letter From Bootcamp)

Hello Mother, hello Feather
Here I am at Camp Claw Balaclava
Claw Balaclava aren't very good for running
From a bear who wants to eat your face off.

I went swimming in the river
It was real cold, and I shivered
I put my Claw Balaclava on, which was a mistake
Because you're not supposed to submerge them in water.

When it got dark out, we made a fire
Our need for S'mores was very dire
The flames went crazy, so I stomped them
And now I have third-degree burns.

Buy this Claw Balaclava, oh dearest Iron Horsers
Buy these Claw Balaclava, we'll flash our hooters
Don't make us keep writing this song ...